I fell asleep in a dirty recliner. Naked, except for a mint green knitted blanket and a brindle mutt - some chihuahua, terrier, alien rat cat pig mix - whining in a heap against my legs. I called him Junior because he was small and rebellious, a true nomad taken from the pound just long enough to receive his next warm meal and chance of escape. As he defied chains, he defied a proper name. (Though I was fond of calling him Professor Quigley for a short time, as every so often he would cock his head and stare at me with inquisitive, jawbreaker eyes, as though I was the most interesting creature he had ever witnessed, and had he hands and a pen he would be taking the most cleverest of notes on my behaviors and transcribing them into his doggie dissertation on the elusive human species. Right before he pissed on my shoe.)

I fell asleep in a dirty recliner. Acid reflux and allergy-inflamed lungs gave me no alternative but to sleep where I could sit and breathe. I was at least 80 pounds heavier then, maybe more. 280 if you count the man standing beside me on the scale. (He always did like the extra weight. The better to hold you down, my dear. Pay no attention to the feelings of suffocation.)

I fell asleep in a dirty recliner. Some abused relic left behind by a client of my father's and passed down to me. He had long been a fan of taking in strays. Be it furniture, vehicles, animals, friends/users, thieves, psychopaths. My father deemed himself the CEO for the Island of Misfit Toys. And I would write to Santa every night asking him to find me and give me to a new home. Somewhere pretty and clean where toys were treasures.

I fell asleep in a dirty recliner and dreamed that Santa found me. Naked, dirty, struggling to breathe. He asked me to sing for him. He said, "Sing me a song, and I promise to take you as far as my sleigh can go." I opened my mouth, but the only sound I could make was a gentle, high-pitched whine.

I woke up in a dirty recliner to find cat-ears perked, rat-head cocked to one side, and inquisitive, jawbreaker eyes staring back at me, as though they were immensely curious what my next move would be...



Edie